You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
do herpes really smell.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
