I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
