He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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