I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
