i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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