It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Randomize
