Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Well I just put wine in my tea
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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