Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
