i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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