Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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