i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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