bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
