Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize
