Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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