I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
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I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
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I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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