It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
