I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Randomize
