Just mADE A PArabola og urine
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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