Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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