Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I didn't shave. On purpose
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Randomize
