I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
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I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
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After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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