those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
