After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
