Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
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