and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize