I'm going to rape someone's good day.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
