He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
