Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!