On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Randomize
