I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.