Texts From Last Night

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  (301): View more from Maryland

  She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.

  (301): View more from Maryland

  but she's really nice

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  (301): She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds. (301): but she's really nice http://tfl.nu/144l
  Replies (3) Good night (1238) Bad night (605)
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.

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  (931): she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by. http://tfl.nu/75ga
  Replies (14) Good night (5261) Bad night (1135)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.

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  (570): don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you. http://tfl.nu/ijol
  Replies (22) Good night (3860) Bad night (875)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward

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  (602): i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward http://tfl.nu/yrv2
  Replies (21) Good night (1061) Bad night (3558)
• Favorite

  (318): View more from Louisiana

  why is allison so mad at me??

  (469): View more from Texas

  me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".

  (318): View more from Louisiana

  crap..

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  (318): why is allison so mad at me?? (469): me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!". (318): crap.. http://tfl.nu/7nes
  Replies (28) Good night (1603) Bad night (6067)
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.

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  (650): an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty. http://tfl.nu/vy3j
  Replies (81) Good night (10494) Bad night (3068)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.

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  (203): I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it. http://tfl.nu/2i57
  Replies (43) Good night (4304) Bad night (4656)
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  (916): View more from California

  Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.

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  (916): Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much. http://tfl.nu/45kg
  Replies (3) Good night (1023) Bad night (2159)
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  (619): View more from California

  I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"

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  (619): I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn" http://tfl.nu/h75w
  Replies (5) Good night (1505) Bad night (627)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?

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  (919): Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight? http://tfl.nu/lpr7
  Replies (5) Good night (1232) Bad night (541)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of

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  (402): I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of http://tfl.nu/8cwz
  Replies (6) Good night (909) Bad night (402)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.

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  (919): We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad. http://tfl.nu/qk8s
  Replies (6) Good night (1930) Bad night (424)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic

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  (562): Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic http://tfl.nu/6axg
  Replies (4) Good night (993) Bad night (363)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.

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  (774): Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously. http://tfl.nu/yusm
  Replies (0) Good night (647) Bad night (358)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible

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  (570): I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible http://tfl.nu/bjuj
  Replies (1) Good night (263) Bad night (512)

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