Texts From Last Night

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  (650): View more from California

  I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese

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  (650): I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese http://tfl.nu/0g2e
  Replies (11) Good night (3265) Bad night (654)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!

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  (413): DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!! http://tfl.nu/zcda
  Replies (15) Good night (5210) Bad night (565)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.

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  (561): It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out. http://tfl.nu/g5y4
  Replies (14) Good night (735) Bad night (6354)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time

  (972): View more from Texas

  i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"

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  (214): probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time (972): i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!" http://tfl.nu/dprb
  Replies (22) Good night (9676) Bad night (960)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house

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  (817): He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house http://tfl.nu/yyye
  Replies (51) Good night (14831) Bad night (1995)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be

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  (916): Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be http://tfl.nu/iw79
  Replies (24) Good night (981) Bad night (4405)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.

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  (701): I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships. http://tfl.nu/filq
  Replies (12) Good night (3924) Bad night (1236)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.

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  (206): My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas. http://tfl.nu/jpxs
  Replies (13) Good night (6299) Bad night (835)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks

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  (416): thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks http://tfl.nu/k1ka
  Replies (4) Good night (1155) Bad night (2075)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.

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  (908): I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well. http://tfl.nu/i8n0
  Replies (4) Good night (2030) Bad night (886)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.

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  (801): Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away. http://tfl.nu/018f
  Replies (8) Good night (1651) Bad night (778)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...

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  (202): Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395... http://tfl.nu/2tco
  Replies (4) Good night (601) Bad night (1624)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!

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  (561): Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?! http://tfl.nu/98de
  Replies (13) Good night (1204) Bad night (612)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.

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  (401): Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week. http://tfl.nu/pyo5
  Replies (4) Good night (284) Bad night (553)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.

  (313): View more from Michigan

  I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.

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  (313): He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over. (313): I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked. http://tfl.nu/vnqs
  Replies (1) Good night (389) Bad night (319)

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