he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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