yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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