Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
