You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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