can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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