i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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