I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Moan for me like Helen Keller
i barfeds in our rink
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Randomize
