Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Randomize
