plz talk dirty to me
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
