it wasn't lemon gatorade
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize
