Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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