he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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