I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize