just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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