you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
