And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I just forgot I was standing up.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
