He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
