hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
