that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
