$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
