So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I just gift wrapped bread.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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