oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
My penis needs a shock collar
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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