You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
