no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Randomize
