How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
