help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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