just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
