He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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