he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I love you.
Bad choice
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize