Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Randomize
