Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize