Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
