Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
