Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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