I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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