My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
