GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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